#100BloggingDays Day 9 - Baby Betsy

Earlier i sat looking through pictures and videos on my phone of Betsy when she was younger. And i couldn't believe how much she had changed. Those early months really do go too quickly. Before you know it you have a grubby, demanding, thug of a toddler on your hands.  So I decided that today's post would just be my some of my favourite pictures of my Baby Betsy.

#100BloggingDays Day 8 - Becoming a mum

When I was pregnant I was overloaded with information on what it would be like, what to expect, what to do etc. I thought i had a vague idea of it all by the time Betsy arrived, but i was so wrong. 

Here is a list of things i was NOT prepared for when i became a mum.

#wickedwednesdays 25/2/15

   

#100BloggingDays Day 6 - Sickness

 

Today has been a shit day. In fact, the weekend has been shit too. I was very close to breaking point at the end of last week, and was very much looking forward to Ashley being home at the weekend and us to be able to have some family time. So of course, such is our luck, he was ill. I know he couldn't help it, it's just one of those things. He spent the whole weekend in bed, high temperature, coughing, aching. He isn't one to milk it, he isn't ever ill. This is probably the worst he has been in all the time we have been together. Today he went to the doctor's and was told he has a chest infection, which combined with his asthma is pretty pants for him. I do feel awful for him.

#100BloggingDays Day 5 - Breastfeeding

I never really thought about whether or not I was going to breastfeed Betsy to start with. I felt like there were a whole other ton of things I should be concerned about rather than worrying about how I was going to feed my baby. However as the due date loomed, I started to lean towards breastfeeding. It was my antenatal class that sold it to me. With all the health benefits for both me and my baby, the special bond it seemed to guarantee I would have with my baby and how convenient it was, there was no question in my mind that I would breastfeed.

#100BloggingDays Day 4 - Sleep

 

I am completely confident with Betsy during the day, I know what to do and when to do it, I can generally read her quite well so know what her cries and whines mean, I know when she is happy and sad and fed up. I know what she likes and dislikes (although this changes on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis so I cant never be TOO sure). I know I am capable. I can look after her. I may find it tough and a struggle sometimes, particularly if I am having a 'dark day'. But ultimately I know what I am doing.

 

 

That is, until 7pm. Bedtime. When it gets to this time of the day, I am back to the nervousness and anxiousness of those early days when she was a new born and I didn't actually know what I was doing. I was just winging it, learning on the job and just hoping everything would turn out ok.

#100BloggingDays Day 3 - Hugo

For most, today is just another day. Another Friday, the day before the weekend, the last day of the working week. Just another day. 

For Leigh and Martin, it is not just another day. It is their son Hugo's
first birthday. A very special and brave boy.

 

I have never met Hugo's parents, nor have I ever spoken to them, bar a couple of tweets to his mummy. What I have done though is read their story, their very brave and very devastating story. One which I will not tell you, because it isn't my story to tell. But you can read it by clicking here. 

Please do read it.

I have thought of them both today. Despite not knowing these two people, I am in awe of them, how they find the strength to carry on after such sadness.

Happy birthday Hugo.

#HugosLegacy

#100BloggingDays Day 2- Losing control.

My depression comes in waves.

I can have days when I feel fine, I can cope with my daughter screaming at me and having tantrums and refusing to eat and everything else. I can get up from a night of awfully broken sleep and feel like a zombie, but still manage to be upbeat and happy, and to play with my daughter and get what needs to be done done and not even give it a second thought. I can have days where I am silly and ridiculous, and I mess about and laugh.

On these days, everything is ok. I am ok.

#100BloggingDays Day 1

I have been a bit rubbish of late with my beloved blog. I never seem to have the time to do it, or I do but I have so many things I want to write about that I sit for such a ridiculous amount of time trying to decide what I should do first that by the time I have decided my time has run out.

 So I am going to challenge myself to do 100 days of blogging. Inspired by the '100 happy days' thing, I will put up a post every day for 100 days, about everything and anything. What I've done that day, something that has irritated me, the latest skill Betsy has mastered.... Anything goes. The good, the bad and the horrifically shit. Sometimes it might just be pictures to sum up what has happened in a day.

Foodgate

When Betsy was very small, I was so excited about weaning. I spent an obscene amount of time looking up recipes, the best spoons/bowls/cups to use, snack ideas, when to start, what to expect.... The list was endless. I'm a shit cook, but that didn't matter because as soon as Betsy was ready for weaning I would turn into a domestic goddess over night, ingest 1000 cookery books and spend my days lovingly preparing a variety of healthy and nutritious meals for my dear daughter. I would most definitely not be using any form of jars or pouches of baby food. There would be no sugar or salt added to anything. Nothing processed or full of bad things. I was ready to wean.

More about me...

I have thought long and hard about this post for a while. Half of me not wanting to do it, and half of me feeling it necessary. It is a large part of my life, and something that I know affects a huge number of people. I want to start as I mean to go on with this blog, being open and honest about all that is important to me.

I suffer with depression and anxiety. I have done for a few years, not so much the depression as that has come and gone a few times, but the anxiety daily. It is something that I do not speak about, a lot of those closest to me either may not know or they do, but only to some degree. It is something I have no control over, no matter how hard I try. I can't 'snap out of it', which I'm sure Ashley wont mind me saying is something he couldn't understand at first. It is hard to put into words how it affects me. I have tried to ignore and hide it, I haven't wanted to seek help from a doctor simply because I haven't wanted to accept that there is something wrong with me. Though I am currently on medication for both of these issues, due to how I struggled so much when I had my daughter.  Having her has finally made me realise that I cant carry on living my life this way. 

#wickedwednesdays- 11/2/15

 

 

''LIFE IS SO HARD!!''

 

 

 

 

 

My Saviour

 

 

Cbeebies, how do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

 

I love the much needed exercise you have brought me, in the form of the

'Timmy Time dance off', created by the sleep thief herself.

Swimming with Betsy - the dream vs the reality

We arrive at the swimming pool, and pay. We walk to the changing rooms, and Betsy helps me to get her changed into her swimming costume. We walk up to the lockers, put our stuff away then head to the pool. As we get nearer I notice the splash pad right at the bottom, with lots of water sprinkler thingys (technical term). We walk down to it and Betsy is overcome with sheer joy and runs around splashing and grinning her little face off.

#wickedwednesdays - 4/2/15