Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Things I wish I had done before I became a mum

Obviously i have no regrets about having Betsy when i did, she is the best thing to ever happen to me (apart from when she is mid-strop). However there are a few little things i wish i had done before she came along. 

Learnt to drive
This is probably my biggest thing. I really really really wish i could drive. I feel like it would make life so much easier, there are only so many times we can walk to the same high street or park. I am able to get to places, i can go out with people who drive, of course. But it would just be so nice to have that independence. 

Gone to University
This doesn't have anything to do with Betsy really. It is something i have always regretted. I want to do social work, particularly with families and children, and to do that i need to go to Uni. I went to sixth form after school, but only completed 3/4 of my first year before i dropped out. As my tutor had warned, i regret it massively. I don't really know why i dropped out, i was just young and stupid. If i could go back in time i most definitely wouldn't have dropped out, and i would have gone on to Uni like i had always planned to!

Gone on a girl's holiday
I'm 25, and i have never gone on a proper girls holiday. Does that make me a bit sad?? Maybe! I feel like my anxiety would hold me back too much to go on one now, but when i was a bit younger and more carefree i definitely should have done it. 

Bought a house
It doesn't bother me massively that we rent, particularly as the house we have just moved in to is so lovely, but i would love to be able to call a house our own. For Betsy to grow up in the same house, same bedroom. To create memories in that she can relive in years to come. It's just the slight uncertainty of renting that bothers me a bit i guess. I am a massive pessimist so always think the worst and worry that we would suddenly have to move out and struggle to find somewhere.

Gotten married
We were due to get married when i fell pregnant with Betsy. She was born less then 2 weeks before what would have been our big day! Obviously i didn't care about any of that when i found out I was expecting her, i was just totally over the moon. But as there was no way we could have brought the wedding forward, we had to put it back two years to this December, which has just caused a whole heap of aggravation! I also have hated that i have had a different surname to Ashley and Betsy. 

Overcome my mental health issues
Readers of my blog will know all about my struggles with depression and anxiety. As much as i try, it just doesn't seem to go away. And anyone who has experience of this will know how hard it is, especially with a child thrown into the mix. I am full of guilt about how it might affect her, I worry she will grow up and have the same problems as me. I desperately don't want that. And actually it might be bit over ambitious of me to think i could have shaken it off before she was born, maybe that would never have happened even if she wasn't here for another 10 years. I know that i just need to accept and deal with it. But its always in the back of mind, wondering what motherhood would be like if i hadn't  of entered it with this over my head. 

Of course i can still do all of these things. Having Betsy will in no way prevent me from doing them, yes it might be bit harder to do, but i can still do them. Having her isn't a hindrance upon my life. It just means i will have my little mate at my side throughout it all. 


  1. I'm not sure if my comment posted or not there 😐
    I love this post! You could go back to uni when betsy is a bit older?or could go part time?
    I hope you do a post about your wedding!!I got married nearly 2 years ago and I started blogging a little too late to be able to write a post my wedding but I love reading them!

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. I share so many of these too, especially girls holiday and bought a house. I also which I done festivals (vfestival or creamfields) loved this post always feel I can relate so much to you x

  4. My goodness I wanted to get the driving done! I even had lessons up to my seventh month of pregnancy but I didn't make it! It's so difficult to look at these things objectively when you're in it but you're a wonderful, wonderful Mum and if Betsy did have amny challenges in the future you will be the perfect person to help her. I did major work to deal with my anxiety before I had the baby and when he was born - hormones and life put the anxiety into overdrive and I had to start all over again! That's the beauty of kids, you never stop growing :)